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Archive for the ‘Read All About It: Fun Pet Stuff’ Category

How To Pill a Cat

Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

How To Pill a CatPill a cat

  1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on each side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
  2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat gently in left arm and repeat process.
  3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, pick up and throw soggy pill away.
  4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for count of ten.
  5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
  6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into cat’s mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
  7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill out of foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep up shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set on one side for gluing later.
  8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie no cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with a pencil and blow into drinking straw.
  9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
  10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door just enough so that head is showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with plastic band.
  11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
  12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from rete across road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
  13. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by a large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
  14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room, drop off cat at vet clinic on the way. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearms and removes pill from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home and order new dining table.

 

How To Pill a Dog
  1. Wrap it in a piece of bacon and toss  it. 

Stockings for your cat? Presents for your pooch?

Friday, December 7th, 2012

Stocking for your catWant to hang a stocking for your cat? Or wrap a present and place it under the tree so your pooch can open it on Christmas morning? Go for it!

In survey after survey, the vast majority of pet owners say they treat their dogs and cats like family. And how could you leave any beloved member of the family out of the holiday festivities? According to a PetFinder.com poll, 63% of dog owners and 58% of people with cats give their pets Christmas presents.

If you are looking for treats for your pet, here are a few things to keep in mind

1. Pigs ears are very high in fat.
2. Make sure you check the label to see where Jerky Treats are being made. Steer clear of treats made in China.
3. Watch the calories in the treats  you purchase for your pets, most treats are “junk food”.

Need some ideas for presents? We’ve got some great ideas

1. Heated Pet Beds – Provides a warm place for your pet to snuggle up.
2. Lighted Collars and Leashes – Helps you & your pet to be seen on early morning or evening walks.
3. Pet Water Fountains– Moving water is safer than heated water.

heated pet bedslighted collars and leashes
            

 

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